Reason No 1: You will have to make things – all by yourself.

Do you have a morbid fear of nails?

How then to build your own Secure Dementia Unit for Elderly Pets who would otherwise wander dazedly into National Park Wilderness and get stuck in a wombat hole or worse?

Don’t worry, it can all be accomplished with packing cases, nylon rope and left over chicken wire.

Pet Dementia Unit

First, take one blind, deaf and slightly senile corgi-cross called Coffee, and relocate him from a townhouse patio to a rural paradise bordering on vast national park.

Wandering Dog

As with many elderly creatures, he likes to wander. So on the third day, noticing Coffee’s not around, I go looking for him at the bottom of our property (not stopping to put on shoes).  Where it so happens there’s what real estate agents like to call ‘a crystal clear mountain stream’.

Pretty soon I hear piteous yelps, and follow these about 50 metres down the creek, to where poor Coffee has got himself stuck in the middle of a pool (crystal clear, obviously, but foot-numbingly cold) with his paw in a branch.  He’s struggling and crying and no doubt would have drowned in another hour or so.  Pluck him out, tuck him under one arm  (like Bear Grylls) all soaked and shivering, barefoot it up through the bush and the creek back to our house, tuck him in with a sweet biscuit and a blanket.  THINK.  This must not happen again. If it does, I should wear shoes, anyway!

I clearly need to build a dog fence.  But I have this phobia of nails (actually, of construction generally).  So I find all the foam boxes we used in moving, a couple of suitcases, and some chicken wire and steel fencing bits the previous owner left in the garage.  Then I build a Box Wall (out of foam boxes filled with firewood so they don’t blow down), a Wire Fence (wire tied to the verandah posts with nylon rope,, and even (after a couple mishaps climbing over the Box Wall)  a Gate (tip, you need a small piece of steel fencing tied to the post on one side only, opening inwards).  I got this idea partly from this guy, although where I use nylon rope, he uses rainforest foliage.

Who needs nails!  Except the polished red sort, obviously!






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